Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas cute boy! I wont lie. this Christmas has been super weird. The week before, Kynzlie had a viral infection. We headed up north, to spend the holiday with family on Thursday. She had started to feel better, and she wasn't contagious, so we figured it would be fine. She did alright. was still pretty warn out, but it really hit again the next night. Saturday she seemed to be doing better again, but then Quinn was sick. throwing up, fever...no fun at all. Then Saturday night you started getting a runny nose...needless to say. you've all been sick, and it was been super sad and stressful.

Christmas morning with you was cute. you didn't really know what to do with presents. so we would help you unwrap them, but then you would just get mad. like "why in the world would you hand me a toy in a package. What am I suppose to do with that." It was really sweet. with all of you feeling so poorly, we decided it was best to just get you home. you weren't thrilled on the drive, and screamed most of the way. you were just so tired. and when you're tired, you like to nestle. lol and obviously sitting in a car seat isn't idea for that.

at the rest stop, we let you sit in the drivers seat, which made you happy. (which was so nice to see a smile. they were hard to come by with you sick. you finally completely zonked out about 20 minutes before we got home. and we got you right up in your bed and you slept for most of the night.

Not what you picture when you think of Christmas is it :) but sometimes life is like that. it doesn't change just because there is a special even, or a picture in your head of the way you want it to go.
real life is always moving forward. and of course I hope next Christmas is a lot more fun, this Christmas was still wonderful. Filled with little, sweet, peaceful, fun moments, that helped balance out all of the chaos of having 3 sick children, at someone else's house no less. were were surrounded by people who love us, were patient and helpful to the situation. We have an incredible family.

I hope if nothing else, you take away from this, that life doesn't go according to plan most of the time. and there are times where you want it to go one way, and it doesn't turn out like that at all. You have to find the joy/fun/peace/calm in all the little moments. they add up to be the big ones. look for the positive. and know, you have a family that love you so much!

boy of the summer

my cooper boy! you are almost 15 months old! you have been walking like a champ for a few weeks now. you love crawling up the stairs, and are starting to slide down them instead of climb down. lol We you personality has just bloomed in the last few months. you love to give loves (cuddles) and blow kisses. you love to wave at people. and you are understanding words when spoken to you. (we'll ask where your ball/car/whatever is) and you'll go find it. you are hilarious silly. yesterday you ran around with a towel on your head and just kept laughing. you also would pick up the bumbo, throw it and then go sit in it; get out, and do it all over again. it was so funny. you have recognized the sound of the door/garage door, and knows that means daddy is home. so as soon as you hear it you stop what your doing and head for it. It's adorable to say the least. you love your sisters; which is so fun. you are starting to get some molars in, which has taken a tole on you. runny nose, occasionally a little grumpy, but as a huge overall, you have still been extremely positive and happy. you are such a happy little boy. You are constantly smiling, you flirt all the time lol
you figured out how to get on the little car and scoot around, which you think is the bees knees. :) I love having you around. If i'm being completely honest, you have been the child my heart seems to love so naturally and easily...which i was worried about. I was so scared to have a boy. I have no clue what to do with them lol but you won my heart so fast and with so much ease. I love you Cooper. I love watching you learn. I love watching you grow. I am seriously the luckiest person in the entire world.

my Cooper boy

well my darling, you are 11 months old. We are only a few weeks shy of your first birthday! I cannot believe it! There are moments I swear it should still be last year, with us anxiously awaiting your arrival. This year has flown by, and to be quite honest, i cant really remember a time you weren't part of our family (whither emotionally or physically.) You are now the proud owner of 6 teeth, which are stinking adorable. You have hit all your milestones with strength and excitement. Not only do you crawl like a champ, but you love to stand and walk along the couch. You have started shadowing behavior, and it is hilariously adorable.  You have such a natural curiosity and determination. You are my only child that i've needed to put locks on the cupboards. You are a problem solver. If there is something you want, you'll find a way to make it happen.
 You and Quinn have finally started getting closer, which warms my heart. To hear you two sit and giggle together...there is no better sound than that. it give me so many mixed feelings to know you are growing up.
There is so much of me that wants you to stay my sweet little boy forever. I want to keep safe from this awful and destructive world. I look at these teenage boys that are being bombarded with temptation and trials. Watching suicides due to bullying, shootings due to anger and natural man tendencies. Boys not able to have healthy relationships because they have fallen into satans traps of pornography or closing themselves off from the world because a virtual reality seems like a better option then than reality. There is so much darkness in the spiraling world. and there is so much of me wants to hid it all from you, i want nothing more than to protect you from it. and just as i'm about to board up the windows and lock all the doors (not really, but you get my point) the Holy Ghost always seems to come at the right moment; reminding me, that you are strong enough for this. You are a noble and great one, held back for these last days because you have a strength and a righteousness about you.  You spent extra time with our Father in Heaven, and our Savior Jesus Christ. He has full faith in you, He prepared you for this. So even though the darkness might be strong, you are on His side, and with Him, you can never fail. He wont allow you to fail. All you have to do is turn to Him, allow Him to constantly be with you, and you will never fail.
I promise to do my best to teach you to do that. To have faith, to trust Him, to help you remember why you made the choice to follow Him. because you already made that choice, we just have to remember why. I will do all I can to help you walk in His ways, to provide an environment that helps cultivate and remember the person you already were. I cant promise to be perfect, in fact, i will probably fall short most of the time. but please know, i'm trying, i'm learning too, and that I love you more than I could ever express.
Now, as he reminds me of all of this, yes there is part of me that wants to have you be little forever, to cuddle you and play with you like this, forever. but as I think about this incredible spirit you have, I cant wait to watch you grow. To watch that spirit become stronger and stronger as you draw close to your Father and remember why you are here. I don't need to fear, because He knew you were ready, He saved you for today; and in that, I can trust that you can face and handle this. It doesn't mean it wont be hard, and it doesn't mean there wont be mistakes, and thats ok, because thats how we grow, that is how we learn to allow the Savior in our life, as we rely on Him at our hardest/darkest/saddest moments in life. and as we learn that, we increase in our understand of His love for us, of who we are, and that no matter sunshine or rain, He is there.
I love you Cooper Scott. Your Dad loves you, Your sisters love you. Your Extended family loves you. and most importantly your Father loves you. You have a whole team rooting and cheering you on. we love you more than we can ever express, and we will always be here for you.