well my darling, you are 11 months old. We are only a few weeks shy of your first birthday! I cannot believe it! There are moments I swear it should still be last year, with us anxiously awaiting your arrival. This year has flown by, and to be quite honest, i cant really remember a time you weren't part of our family (whither emotionally or physically.) You are now the proud owner of 6 teeth, which are stinking adorable. You have hit all your milestones with strength and excitement. Not only do you crawl like a champ, but you love to stand and walk along the couch. You have started shadowing behavior, and it is hilariously adorable. You have such a natural curiosity and determination. You are my only child that i've needed to put locks on the cupboards. You are a problem solver. If there is something you want, you'll find a way to make it happen.
You and Quinn have finally started getting closer, which warms my heart. To hear you two sit and giggle together...there is no better sound than that. it give me so many mixed feelings to know you are growing up.
There is so much of me that wants you to stay my sweet little boy forever. I want to keep safe from this awful and destructive world. I look at these teenage boys that are being bombarded with temptation and trials. Watching suicides due to bullying, shootings due to anger and natural man tendencies. Boys not able to have healthy relationships because they have fallen into satans traps of pornography or closing themselves off from the world because a virtual reality seems like a better option then than reality. There is so much darkness in the spiraling world. and there is so much of me wants to hid it all from you, i want nothing more than to protect you from it. and just as i'm about to board up the windows and lock all the doors (not really, but you get my point) the Holy Ghost always seems to come at the right moment; reminding me, that you are strong enough for this. You are a noble and great one, held back for these last days because you have a strength and a righteousness about you. You spent extra time with our Father in Heaven, and our Savior Jesus Christ. He has full faith in you, He prepared you for this. So even though the darkness might be strong, you are on His side, and with Him, you can never fail. He wont allow you to fail. All you have to do is turn to Him, allow Him to constantly be with you, and you will never fail.
I promise to do my best to teach you to do that. To have faith, to trust Him, to help you remember why you made the choice to follow Him. because you already made that choice, we just have to remember why. I will do all I can to help you walk in His ways, to provide an environment that helps cultivate and remember the person you already were. I cant promise to be perfect, in fact, i will probably fall short most of the time. but please know, i'm trying, i'm learning too, and that I love you more than I could ever express.
Now, as he reminds me of all of this, yes there is part of me that wants to have you be little forever, to cuddle you and play with you like this, forever. but as I think about this incredible spirit you have, I cant wait to watch you grow. To watch that spirit become stronger and stronger as you draw close to your Father and remember why you are here. I don't need to fear, because He knew you were ready, He saved you for today; and in that, I can trust that you can face and handle this. It doesn't mean it wont be hard, and it doesn't mean there wont be mistakes, and thats ok, because thats how we grow, that is how we learn to allow the Savior in our life, as we rely on Him at our hardest/darkest/saddest moments in life. and as we learn that, we increase in our understand of His love for us, of who we are, and that no matter sunshine or rain, He is there.
I love you Cooper Scott. Your Dad loves you, Your sisters love you. Your Extended family loves you. and most importantly your Father loves you. You have a whole team rooting and cheering you on. we love you more than we can ever express, and we will always be here for you.
