big old 5

Oh my Cooper man, you give me all the feels. You keep growing up and I can't seem to stop it lol I love seeing you hit all these knew milestones and having new experiences but man there are times I wish I could keep you my little boy forever. Before I know it there will be hair on your cute little face and your darling voice I love so much, will deepen. 

Sometimes I look at the world as it is now and am worried for how your teenage years are going to go. The world is a messy, dark and confused place and I wish I could stuff you to the brim with my testimony of truth but that's not really how it works. I will do my best to teach you truth and where you can look for real and eternal answers. I will teach you that you have worth and are so very loved. I will teach you who you are and who you can become. I will do my best, but I am far from perfect. 

I am so Greatful for or Heavenly Father and our Savior. Who loves you perfectly and can lead and guide you through the world perfectly. He knows exactly who you are and who you can become. He knows every strength, weakness, every hair on your head. He will lead and guide you. He will walk you through the refining trials in your life. He will be your greatest strength and ally. He will cheer and celebrate the good and mourn with and comfort you in the heavy and heartbreaking. He will take the trials and consecrate them for your gain, to set you on a path home to Him. I pray you let him prevail in your life. 

We love you so very much and will be here every step of the way. I can't wait to watch you grow this next year. For all the joy, laughter and love you bring ❤️

4

Oh my sweet Buggy. How in the world are you 4? I'm 99% sure I probably say that every year, but seriously. Time is just flying by. I need to find a way to slow down time so I can just absorb every second with you. It just not enough. 

You just have my heart in a way I can even try to express. I love the way you say "I love ya" or "you're my best friend. I love how good you are at problem solving. I love that you love to sit and cuddle and read. I love that you are getting so good at playing pretend. I love that you love trucks, paw patrol, octonauts, plants, marble runs, robots.. so many things. The things you like, you are passionate about. Its so sweet. You love singing and dancing. You love to help with everything. If I am ever cleaning anything or doing anything in the house, you are right there helping in an way I will let you :) 

I have been in awe of you this year. It was a year and a week or so ago that we started this covid stuff. Shut downs, quarentenes. You should have been transitioning out of suu early ed. and starting at the preschool but instead it just all stopped. Everyone was home, all the time. You were amazing. You handled all the change and craziness like a champ. You were so kind and patience while I worked with the girls for school. You loved participating. It really did go so well. 

Soon after that, you became a big brother :) Man did that make my mama heart melt. You are the cutest big brother. You are so sweet, caring, gentle and protective of Colton. You spend the summer playing and just loving on your little guy. 

Heading back to preschool was rough. After only being around us for months on end, it was really hard on you to be away from us. You had some serious separation anxiety. I'm sure all the masks didn't help the matters. We started making you puzzles of a toy you could earn. Each day you went to school you earned a piece. We did this for about....3 months, till you finally started feeling comfortable. You still had days where you were shy or nervous. You would tuck your head as they checked your temperature at the door and shuffle your feet. 

You were in speech therapy at school for about, 8 months. It has been incredible just watch you really come into your own this year. You have learned and grown so much. That's not even touching how much your personality has really started showing itself. You make me laugh and smile, every day <3 There is always something you do, say, come up with that is just so funny or so sweet.  It truly has been an honor watching you grow this year. You are such a brave, sweet, talented, darling boy. I am so excited to see how much you grow this year. If its anything like this past year, we are all in for a hilarious, adorable, awe inspiring adventure. I love you my Cooper boy. 

 

Birthday Boy

Happy birthday my cute buggy!
I cannot believe you are three! this has definitely has been a strange month! We are currently going through the corona virus quarantine. so we have been home a lot. We were suppose to having you transitioning from SUU early intervention into the district preschool, but with everything going on, everything is closed down, schools, sports, tv shows, concerts, church. We aren't leaving the house unless really needed, and when we do, we are supposed to stay 6 feet away from other people. its surreal to be quite honest.
So before the order to stay home as much as possible we had picked up cake, frosting, and a few presents from the store. we got you a little people car set. so it had a train, dump truck and an airplane. you are in love. its been so cute to watch. you did great blowing out your candles, and have been singing happy birthday all day, which is my favorite. we played with sand, which is your other favorite activity. you liked eating a cupcake, as long as it didn't have frosting on it.
the day was pretty relaxed, since we had to be home. you played and watched shows while I helped the girls with their homeschooling. we took breaks and you would exercise, dance, play sand, etc with us. it was great. We just did McDonalds for dinner, so you could have chicken nuggets, (you love those)
It was definitely a fun activity, celebrating a birthday when we are trying really hard to follow the guidelines that have been put forth. Over all, its been a pretty good experience. I have felt so much peace and comfort. I have so clearly been able to see the hand of our Heavenly Father in our lives as we go through this. Its fun to be able to reset and focus on what is truly important. To see all the evidences that God has been preparing us for this, from food storage, to home centered church, and so many things in between. It has also been amazing watching "the helpers" people helping one another during this hard time. people being a little kinder, a little more thoughtful, a bit more Christ-like. there are a lot of people focusing on the bad, hard and scary. and there will always be times in our life when it seems so much easier to see those things, and there will always be bad in the world. But if you focus on the Savior you will be able to see the blessings, the helpers, the good that is going on in the world.
I am so blessed that you came to our family. You have such a special place in my heart. you are so smart, silly, such a problem solver. You make me smile every single day. You have been learning and growing so much the past few months, and it has been such a blessing to be a part of it. I love you so much. I hope you never stop being your sweet, big hearted, goofy adorable self! I love you cute boy!
happy birthday!

pizza

So daddy has a video game that has a door bell sound every once in a while, and every time you think it's our door, and automatically you say "pizza is here!" Very excitedly, and run to the door ❤️

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas cute boy! I wont lie. this Christmas has been super weird. The week before, Kynzlie had a viral infection. We headed up north, to spend the holiday with family on Thursday. She had started to feel better, and she wasn't contagious, so we figured it would be fine. She did alright. was still pretty warn out, but it really hit again the next night. Saturday she seemed to be doing better again, but then Quinn was sick. throwing up, fever...no fun at all. Then Saturday night you started getting a runny nose...needless to say. you've all been sick, and it was been super sad and stressful.

Christmas morning with you was cute. you didn't really know what to do with presents. so we would help you unwrap them, but then you would just get mad. like "why in the world would you hand me a toy in a package. What am I suppose to do with that." It was really sweet. with all of you feeling so poorly, we decided it was best to just get you home. you weren't thrilled on the drive, and screamed most of the way. you were just so tired. and when you're tired, you like to nestle. lol and obviously sitting in a car seat isn't idea for that.

at the rest stop, we let you sit in the drivers seat, which made you happy. (which was so nice to see a smile. they were hard to come by with you sick. you finally completely zonked out about 20 minutes before we got home. and we got you right up in your bed and you slept for most of the night.

Not what you picture when you think of Christmas is it :) but sometimes life is like that. it doesn't change just because there is a special even, or a picture in your head of the way you want it to go.
real life is always moving forward. and of course I hope next Christmas is a lot more fun, this Christmas was still wonderful. Filled with little, sweet, peaceful, fun moments, that helped balance out all of the chaos of having 3 sick children, at someone else's house no less. were were surrounded by people who love us, were patient and helpful to the situation. We have an incredible family.

I hope if nothing else, you take away from this, that life doesn't go according to plan most of the time. and there are times where you want it to go one way, and it doesn't turn out like that at all. You have to find the joy/fun/peace/calm in all the little moments. they add up to be the big ones. look for the positive. and know, you have a family that love you so much!

boy of the summer

my cooper boy! you are almost 15 months old! you have been walking like a champ for a few weeks now. you love crawling up the stairs, and are starting to slide down them instead of climb down. lol We you personality has just bloomed in the last few months. you love to give loves (cuddles) and blow kisses. you love to wave at people. and you are understanding words when spoken to you. (we'll ask where your ball/car/whatever is) and you'll go find it. you are hilarious silly. yesterday you ran around with a towel on your head and just kept laughing. you also would pick up the bumbo, throw it and then go sit in it; get out, and do it all over again. it was so funny. you have recognized the sound of the door/garage door, and knows that means daddy is home. so as soon as you hear it you stop what your doing and head for it. It's adorable to say the least. you love your sisters; which is so fun. you are starting to get some molars in, which has taken a tole on you. runny nose, occasionally a little grumpy, but as a huge overall, you have still been extremely positive and happy. you are such a happy little boy. You are constantly smiling, you flirt all the time lol
you figured out how to get on the little car and scoot around, which you think is the bees knees. :) I love having you around. If i'm being completely honest, you have been the child my heart seems to love so naturally and easily...which i was worried about. I was so scared to have a boy. I have no clue what to do with them lol but you won my heart so fast and with so much ease. I love you Cooper. I love watching you learn. I love watching you grow. I am seriously the luckiest person in the entire world.

my Cooper boy

well my darling, you are 11 months old. We are only a few weeks shy of your first birthday! I cannot believe it! There are moments I swear it should still be last year, with us anxiously awaiting your arrival. This year has flown by, and to be quite honest, i cant really remember a time you weren't part of our family (whither emotionally or physically.) You are now the proud owner of 6 teeth, which are stinking adorable. You have hit all your milestones with strength and excitement. Not only do you crawl like a champ, but you love to stand and walk along the couch. You have started shadowing behavior, and it is hilariously adorable.  You have such a natural curiosity and determination. You are my only child that i've needed to put locks on the cupboards. You are a problem solver. If there is something you want, you'll find a way to make it happen.
 You and Quinn have finally started getting closer, which warms my heart. To hear you two sit and giggle together...there is no better sound than that. it give me so many mixed feelings to know you are growing up.
There is so much of me that wants you to stay my sweet little boy forever. I want to keep safe from this awful and destructive world. I look at these teenage boys that are being bombarded with temptation and trials. Watching suicides due to bullying, shootings due to anger and natural man tendencies. Boys not able to have healthy relationships because they have fallen into satans traps of pornography or closing themselves off from the world because a virtual reality seems like a better option then than reality. There is so much darkness in the spiraling world. and there is so much of me wants to hid it all from you, i want nothing more than to protect you from it. and just as i'm about to board up the windows and lock all the doors (not really, but you get my point) the Holy Ghost always seems to come at the right moment; reminding me, that you are strong enough for this. You are a noble and great one, held back for these last days because you have a strength and a righteousness about you.  You spent extra time with our Father in Heaven, and our Savior Jesus Christ. He has full faith in you, He prepared you for this. So even though the darkness might be strong, you are on His side, and with Him, you can never fail. He wont allow you to fail. All you have to do is turn to Him, allow Him to constantly be with you, and you will never fail.
I promise to do my best to teach you to do that. To have faith, to trust Him, to help you remember why you made the choice to follow Him. because you already made that choice, we just have to remember why. I will do all I can to help you walk in His ways, to provide an environment that helps cultivate and remember the person you already were. I cant promise to be perfect, in fact, i will probably fall short most of the time. but please know, i'm trying, i'm learning too, and that I love you more than I could ever express.
Now, as he reminds me of all of this, yes there is part of me that wants to have you be little forever, to cuddle you and play with you like this, forever. but as I think about this incredible spirit you have, I cant wait to watch you grow. To watch that spirit become stronger and stronger as you draw close to your Father and remember why you are here. I don't need to fear, because He knew you were ready, He saved you for today; and in that, I can trust that you can face and handle this. It doesn't mean it wont be hard, and it doesn't mean there wont be mistakes, and thats ok, because thats how we grow, that is how we learn to allow the Savior in our life, as we rely on Him at our hardest/darkest/saddest moments in life. and as we learn that, we increase in our understand of His love for us, of who we are, and that no matter sunshine or rain, He is there.
I love you Cooper Scott. Your Dad loves you, Your sisters love you. Your Extended family loves you. and most importantly your Father loves you. You have a whole team rooting and cheering you on. we love you more than we can ever express, and we will always be here for you.